Yoga Class and the Evil Empire

Today was my first day of Yoga class for my Kinesiology credit towards my B.S.  I have a bit of a stomach thing going on so it was the longest 2 1/2 hours of my life.  I think I am really going to enjoy the class, but all i could think today was "get me out of here!!!"  It is  a good thing i decided to tough it out and go because apparently each Sunday class is worth two regular classes (since it only meets once a week) and thus I would have reduced my grade down to a 90 just by missing class today.  There was a good variety of people there including 4 guys, one of whom was obviously gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).  One was there obviously for his girlfriend who was in the class with him.  Another of the guys was a very thin, very blonde headed guy who didn't say much.  His mat was right next to mine and he was just really quiet.  The other guy was one who had been in the class before.  He was a very athletic looking Hispanic guy.  As far as the girls went, there was a variety of younger and older, thin and heavy.  The instructor was a short thing lady, probably in her late 40s, early 50s.  She is very in to Yoga and has even been to India to study.  She was very enthusiastic and we start every class off by sitting crosslegged and looking inward.  At the end of this period of reflection, she chants "aum" 3 times (that would be Om to most of us, but that's how it is spelled in the Yoga books).  At the end we do something similar and she says "namaste."  Some of the poses were a little difficult, especially when you don't feel good, but all in all I didn't do too bad.  The girl next to me, a slightly heavy woman, actually fell during one of the poses.  I was a little concerned I might be next and then I would be horrified.  I think next Sunday will be great when I'm feeling better and have my own mat (forgot to bring my mat and had to use one of the ones belonging to the school.  icky.). 

Now, on to the Evil Empire.  Those of you who know me are aware that I think Wal Mart is the Evil Empire and I never set foot in that store unless under extraordinary circumstances.  Well today I did something I'm not proud of.  I went to the Evil Empire.  Of course it reminded me of why I hate the Evil Empire.  My daughter has a school project and I needed some fabric and didn't have time, or energy for that matter, to drive to a crafts store.  I had already been to Target and got almost everything I needed, but I still needed some fabric and some ribbon.  I discovered after searching around for awhile that Wal Mart didn't have any fabric.  They used to carry more crafts stuff than I could find unless it was in some super secret location that I couldn't find.  I found a really cheap curtain panel that would work for the  purpose and I did find some ribbon.  Next I realized I had forgotten to get photo paper at Target.  I was a little surprised to find that Wal Mart locks their photo paper up in a cabinet.  Good luck finding someone at Wal Mart to open a cabinet.  At this time it's too late to go anywhere else, so I decide that if I don't have any at home, I'll be printing the photos for her project on regular paper.  Oh well, such is life.  So now it will be fun with glitter paint, glitter glue, hot glue, ribbons, fabric, stickers, pictures, beads, etc. 

On another note I have taught my son to throw his head back and say "Mwahahahaha."  It's rather funny. 

Feeling Icky...***An Update in the Life of Jennifer***

Today I am apparently sick...again.  Some sort of stomach virus so it seems.  I'm supposed to start Yoga tomorrow at Northridge in the afternoon so I'd better feel well by then!!!  My brother went to his heart doctor last week for a follow up since his heart attack.  Of course he will need to be monitored regularly, but for now they are doing blood tests and lowering his BP meds because apparently his dose had dropped it too far down.

I wonder what the first  Yoga class will be like.  It should be interesting.  The only Yoga I've ever done has been on my own so it will be interesting to be in a classroom setting.  I'll probably find out that I've been doing it all wrong. :)

I have had questions as to whether or not I am in fact naked in my profile picture (dirty dirty people).  Yes I am, but no the picture is not of my entire body and no you may not see the full picture. :P

Poem

I am not posting this on my poetry page since it is a Sylvia Plath poem and I am reserving the Poetry page for my own work.  When I read this poem I think of loves in my life gone away.  I read this and I know exactly what she was feeling when she wrote it. 


Mad Girl's Love Song by Sylvia Plath:

'I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)'

Sylvia Plath"

Nail Polish Remover is the Devil ***An Update in the Life of Jennifer

I consider myself to be an intelligent individual; however, tonight I did something rather stupid.  I managed to get nail polish remover in my eye.  It was a freak accident.  The little swab I was using to take the nail polish off had a little excess on it and when I went to use it, a bit splashed into my right eye and into my mouth.  My eye started burning like fire.  I had my contacts in, so I pulled that out first thing and threw it away as it probably was ruined.  Then I flushed my eye out with cold water for several minutes and the burning stopped; however, the feeling of sand in my eye remained.  I then used eye drops for several minutes just letting it rinse out my eye some more and hopefully lubricate it.  My eye is still irritated pretty badly and red, but it feels better.  It is now my opinion that nail polish remover is the devil.  The things women do in the name of beauty!!! 

Aside from that, today was my daughter's first day of school.  It seemed to go well and she is tired out and already asleep!  This is the  child who we put in bed every night at 9:00 and we can still hear her up in her room late at night.  We go up several times a night to tell her to lay down.  She is a night owl.  I will be back to work tomorrow with tons of stuff waiting for my return.  That's the problem with taking time off work.  The work keeps coming even when you are gone!  So you go back and it's all still there, plus some, waiting for you.  My school also started today.  I don't have any classes today, not ones where I need to go in to campus, and I had already started my online class over a week ago, so not much action on that front as of yet.  I took pictures of the kids (my daughter and her two cousins who are twins) before school today.  It's hard to believe they are already in school.  Time flies when you start working 5 days a week every year.  It seems like you go to work, come home, do all your chores and get a bit of rest in (maybe) and do it over again the next day until the weekend comes, when you may get to do a few fun things, but otherwise you have to finish stuff you couldn't get done in the week.  So, basically time starts flying when you become an adult! :)

I watched most of the Olympics, so now that they are done with, I find myself wondering what I watched before that.  Of course, I'm quickly remembering.  I watched another re-run of The Big Bang Theory tonight.  I didn't watch that show initially, but now that I've started watching it, I am pretty hooked.  It is quite funny. 

Well, that is it for now. 

VRHH - Chapter 3 Preview Posted

'Nuff said. 

The Blues

Well the time has finally come for my daughter to start Kindergarten.  I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me it is a symbol of her growing independence (yes i DO see a symbol in almost everything).  It also marks the first of her school years, which we all know fly by before our eyes.  It is funny what events seem to trigger these thoughts.  I signed her up for school.  I bought her school supplies.  I even took her to meet her teacher last night at a little orientation.  But the thing that set me off today was simple:  Her last day of preschool.  Sure she'll be going to the same daycare for after school care, but today was the day they had their going away celebration.  I was not able to attend the celebration, but it wasn't the celebration itself that did it to me.  No, it was about 45 minutes ago that my daughter did something that got me.  We were standing outside, looking at some flowers when she goes to her daddy's car telling me she has something to show me.  She opens the door and goes inside and pops back out a couple of seconds later.  In her hands is the "About Me" poster that has hung in her various rooms at daycare since she was about 2 years old.  On it are pictures of her with me, with her cousins, with her dad and just her all by herself.  I am looking at those pictures, never to be hung on the daycare wall again, and realize also that she'll never be that age again.  I know that kids grow up, people get older, people die, but knowing that and sometimes being actually aware of it are two different things. 

I am sure that her years in school will be good for her.  I also know that it will be nice to one day not have to be so tied down as you are when you are the parent of small children, but nonetheless, it is hard to watch them, right before your eyes in what seems like the blink of an eye, grow up and start becoming their own person.  I am sure I'll go through it all again when my son grows up, but I guess that's just part of being a mother.  You have the bittersweet experience of watching the baby you held in your arms, tiny and helpless, grow into an independent adult.  All we can hope is that we've given them the tools and the skills to make their lives into what they want them to be and the rest is up to them. 

Here's to all the moms out there who see their child moving on to this next phase of life and feel a little helpless.  We are somewhat helpless in the game of life, but it is still what we make it and our children are a product of our experiences and their own. 

Update

Well my brother got lucky.  It turns out the heart attack left only minor damage on his heart.  He did have an artery that was 100% clogged.  They put a stent in it and told him that he can fly home on Thursday.  He is then immediately to go see a heart doctor.  Hopefully the stent will be all that is necessary.  We were worried about the flight; however, he assures us that they have him on blood thinners to prevent clots.  I spoke to him today on the phone and he says he feels good.  I told him that he needs to lessen the stress in his life and take his meds.  He sounded good, but we will all feel better when he is back home in Texas and done with that 12 hour flight.  Also, when he is back in Texas if anything goes wrong we are better able to respond than with him being in Hawaii.  There is some international travel for his job, so fortunately he wasn't out of the country when this happened. 

I realize that this was a wake up call for him and definitely a close call incident.  I usually try to find meaning in almost everything and/or a lesson.  There are many things to take from this, but I will say this:  If you love someone, you need to tell them and make sure they know.  You never know when something like this is going to happen to you.  There aren't always warning signs and there isn't always time for last words.  I know this is somewhat of a theme in my writing, but I believe in it very strongly.  Events in my life continue to reaffirm this belief. 

There are people who read my blog who I know and some that I don't know.  To those of you readers that I know and love, I want you to know that I love you and I hope you know that I love you and will always love you no matter what is done or said between us.  For those readers who I don't know, make sure you tell the people you love how you feel.  Don't wait for something bad to happen.  Don't wait until it is too late.  If there is someone you love who doesn't know (or if you aren't sure they know) that you love them, there is no time like the present.  Get up and call them, or go to them right now and let them know. 

Perspective

I learned today that my brother, who is only 34 years old, has had a heart attack.  He and my niece and his new wife and her family were in Hawaii on vacation when he started having numbness and tingling in his arms while swimming.  It continued to progress at which time his wife took him to the emergency room.  He was in fact having a heart attack.  My niece is there with none of her family.  She doesn't really know the new wife and her family very well.  My brother is having very invasive surgical type testing done and so we don't know his prognosis at this time or what their course of treatment will be.  He is stable, which is the good news, and the ultrasound shows minimal damage as far as they can tell, but they don't really know anything yet.  All of the tests they are having to do are invasive and always risky.  Not only that, but he is in Hawaii, so we are all very concerned about what will happen when he is released (whenever that may be) as far as air travel.  We are really hoping they will air lift him to California or something with medical teams on board and then whenever it is safe for him to travel, the flight back to Texas would be much shorter, thus decreasing the risk of blood clots (generally it isn't good to spend time inactive in the hospital and then spend however many hours inactive on a plane).  My 13 year old niece is completely freaked out and there is nothing I can do for her other than talk to her.

I hadn't spoken to my brother in a few months after a dispute (family dispute over something silly of course that seemed like a big deal to him, but to the rest of us didn't seem worth the fight).  This is one of those times where I feel like a hypocrite because I always say how important it is to make sure that the people you love know you love them before it is too late and now here I am, my brother having a close call, and I hadn't spoken to him in a few months.

I have nothing else that I can do or say at this moment.  This has not been a good year.

Thinking...

Thinking on the same lines as yesterday of disconnecting and reconnecting....I got to thinking about loss and what we would do differently if we knew that the last time with someone was the last time. I wrote this poem as I thought about it.

I know we can't dwell on loss and what the future brings, but we do have to consider it in everyday life to some degree. We can't know when the last time we will see a person will be, or the last time we will do a particular activity, or even the last time we will take a breath will be. The only thing we can know for certain is that we are alive now and what our feelings are now. We have to strive to live our lives and be satisfied and have no regrets. Regret is the one thing often unable to be remedied.

Tonight

Tonight was good.  I feel very good to have reconnected with my friend.  We were like sisters, which probably explains the fighting like sisters.  I think we will be fine.  We both realize our mistakes and are willing to move past them and be there for each other.  I'm very optimistic about it.

I am; however, not feeling like myself.  I can't shake it.  I wish I knew what to do to get myself back.

Reconnecting - An Update in the Life of Jennifer

We all know in life people come and people go.  Recently I've experienced both, actually just within this week. 

I had a friend contact me, to whom I had not spoken in several months.  We had a terrible fight and now are trying to make amends.  It is nice for someone you love to come back into your life and try to work out differences.  Tonight we are going to have dinner and talk.


I won't go into details about the loss of another friend, but needless to say I'm pretty upset about it.  It's hard when a person you care for leaves your life...


This evening will be a good night I hope.  Reconnecting...Disconnecting...it's all a part of learning and living. 

VRHH Chapter 2 And More

The entire 2nd chapter of VRHH has been posted on the Short Stories page, as well as more poetry on the poetry page and more commentary on the commentary page. 

Picture of Bowling!

Here is a picture of me and the guys at the bowling event. 

OK...I Have a Hard Time...

Believing that hiking, sweating or any of the above would be better than sex!  I'm pretty sure there isn't much that is better than sex (not sure what that says about me :))  I read this article which describes natural highs and such and one person describes these experiences as better than sex.  I'd have to say I prefer the sex. :)

I'm Bringing Sexy Back!

OK, so perhaps I'm exaggerating; however, I continued my workout today. Yes, I got my lazy butt up on Sunday morning and did some cardio. I'm ALREADY starting to see some results. There is no major sign of it yet; however, I have noticed a slight tightening in my abs and I've noticed a slight bit of definition in my thighs. I also finally get how to do that whole pull your navel back into your spine as if someone was pulling it with a string, no sucking in, no holding your breath thing! It's very exciting. So yes, I'm bringing sexy back, look out Justin Timberlake! :P (Wait, did I just admit to knowing that song and who sings it in my public blog?)

Bowling Night - An Update in the Life of Jennifer

Last night was bowling night with my work peeps. Our new manager from Ohio was there and we were all consuming some adult beverages (with the exception of 2 of the peeps). We actually bowled pretty well, although I will admit my second game really really sucked seeing as how by the end of that game I was pretty buzzed. We got our new manager to do a few very entertaining dance moves and a good time was had by all. After the bowling we all went and sat in the bar for a bit. Some of the people we knew on other teams also came and sat with us. I wish I had bowled better, but it was fun and I guess that is what really counts anyhow. I think our new manager jinxed me when he made comments about how well I was bowling. How dare he!!!

New Posts!

A new poem has been posted and a small sneak preview of the next chapter in VRHH has also been posted!

New Blog Design!

Starting today, I will have separate blogs for the type of blog I am posting. I have created Pele's Fire - Poetry; Pele's Fire - Commentary; and Pele's Fire - Short Stories. I think they are pretty self explanatory, but just in case, Commentary will be for my (mostly) political commentary, Poetry for my poems, and Short Stories for my stories (including the VRHH blogs).

I will be using this main page to post updates in my life, updates with the blog, and general stuff that doesn't fit into the other categories.

Happy reading!

J

The Return to Exercise: An Update in the Life of Jennifer

Tonight I returned to exercise. I've decided I'm going to work out every day. I meant to get up this morning and work out; however, I couldn't sleep last night and was up past 1 AM, so I couldn't get up early enough. I came home this evening and decided to do some cardio. 30 minutes is all I could do. Apparently I'm not very "in shape." But I was proud to have made it through 30 minutes without dying. My legs are like jell-o but other than that I'm good. I hope to get up tomorrow morning and do some Pilates and get my abs in shape. I'm going to look fabulous when I'm done and hopefully feel 100 X better than I do right now. I'm hoping to use Pilates and my upcoming Yoga class for college to get back to being focused in meditation. These days I can't focus to meditate for anything. The cardio is to help me burn the jell-o and look like a million bucks while making my heart and body healthier, which, I believe, will in turn my my mind healthier. I'm lost these days. I need to find where I've gone. I'm carrying around extremely negative energy and in turn I find that I'm simply unhappy. I know that there are things in my life which contribute to my negative feelings, but I have to find a way to tune them out.

So wish me luck!